Note dump :: Jan 2025
All the (electrical) home-reliance gadgetry here in California really makes me empathize with those in Utah betting their survival on canned food and pickles.
Pair the exquisite complexity of human biomechanics with the fact that one will inevitably and constantly have something that feels off, and you’ll understand why chiropractors and physical therapists will always be solicited. Beyond this, I ponder how this condition is inherent to being a living thing made of flesh and bones. Thus we’re trying to “fix” being alive, which won’t go anywhere. Thus meditation. I’m so clever.
I made my website repo private and deleted it 5 minutes later. The contribution graph bizarrely keeps me hooked. My web hosting backs it up every night. I don’t need it. Seriously, I edit files on the fly directly on the live server via FTP. I don’t build “software”. It’s a static, personal, dumb, website. It feels like a victorious little death.
We got a double jogging stroller. $180 from Facebook marketplace, a (pretty good?!) find from the wife. The thing is big and smooth. I understand why homeless people use these. I would be able to fit my whole life in there.
A Costco membership and a garage gym seem to yield a very specific physique, commonly called “buff”. I have nothing against it. I'm actually pretty jealous but I can’t eat that much. Mine is “chicken thighs and pushups at the park”.
I tried to read Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander. I don’t understand most of the theology, and I’m not interested in his taste for poetry – So I’m giving up. That said, I like his candor and tone. There are a few topics like pragmatism and capitalism where the first pages are hilariously convincing but goes on for 3+ pages to end in odd theological corners I have little interest in. The Eastern culture stuff and random notes weaved through are refreshing, especially considering the publication date. I get why he is so widely appreciated, maybe I’ll come back to him later in life.
One passage will stay with me: Merton recollects a boring seminar where he did breathing exercises and other meditative practices during the whole thing. He points out his detachment from the poor quality of the experience and how he was able to enjoy something that was objectively not great.
I’m done (at least for a while) with witty-silly titles. The time and emotional energy I’ve put into finding titles for posts on this blog is quite alarming. It also signals a desire to tease potential readers. That all feels wrong. I always write about a theme that I explore via a few personal stories and comments. Instead of making it quirky and unique, I’m opting for a basic “On (theme)”… until my next fart.
Meeting my parents as a parent made me appreciate the circular nature of life and what good advice is: stating an obvious fact at the right time. It would sound cliche or basic in other contexts, but well timed, it can have major resonance. Restraint from the generation before can then meet the effort of the new one.
I stood up too fast at the park and lost blood flow to my head. This time long enough to have the brief no-mind moment. That reminded me of the zen idea of observing the body without the noise of the mind. I fainted a few times and that’s what I remember of the seconds before passing out. A vaguely pleasant sense of weightlessness. Today I was a bit sick and after a few weeks of cold weather, the sun hit me harder than usual. I maintained that pre-faint state for a solid 15 sec while hanging from a bar at the park.
Someone dumped a bunch of fancy toys at one of our local parks. Each truck had the name of its lucky original owner, a kiddo named “Denim”? My kids love the trucks. It’s the full set of Bruder construction trucks, probably around $300. Each has a broken part but aged well. I remember these from my own childhood. The copyright plate says 2002. So I guess these haven’t changed since then — which would make these quite a lucrative business.
One day you are young, then you update your OS and get mad, watch people stretching on YouTube, download illegally literature you once refused to read in class, buy a dumb watch, complain about smart appliances, rub coconut oil and marvel at its wonders, thinks kick scooters are cool
The contrast between the texture of old people's skin and hair and modern technical apparel, perfectly smooth and ultra-bright, is jarring to my eyes. The refusal of impermanence seems too obvious. People can wear whatever they wan’t, don’t read me wrong. This is just an expression of my senses connecting to my philosophy, looking for a soul in things, poetry, charm... I can't find beauty in bright orange gore-tex...
Food > Stuff > Virtual stuff
When something bothers me, I still google it. I’m a modern doofus, Healthline is better than WebMD but still basic. I prefer mayoclinic.com. Most of the time it’s the same information everywhere, which I either already know, or is relevant but irrelevant to me. I spent years stuck in this weird stress-inducing pattern. I need to reach a bad level of confusion to get there. I’ve come to realize that I either need to wait it out (for most little, very annoying things), not do anything (because it’s not actually bad), or do something really basic (like rest, ice, compress, elevate, stretch, warm). The googling has solely been in the way of cathartic realization about health. Slowing down or completely blocking the process. Because somebody out there must know better.
I never consistently used Ricola during a cold episode until this month. It’s nice, it makes coughing pleasantly tasty. But it’s candy. We got a ridiculous pack from Costco. My phlegm for the next 3 years is going to be deliciously citrusy.
- Meditation with sleeping babies might be the equivalent of Yoga with goats.
- Everyone wants and loves freedom, not just America. American freedom is absolute and can be calculated in dollars. It’s very expensive and was enabled by a concourse of circumstances that made it the recipient of an absurd amount of capitalism’s gains. Nobody defines freedom the same way. In our ever-more globalized world, most seem to agree that money is a vehicle for freedom and autonomy. It allows one to purchase the time or stuff needed to fulfill whatever one calls freedom. Socialists define freedom as collective autonomy, which provides some freedom to each individual.
Although it looks a bit small the Casio 3294 is the companion I was looking for. My 5-star review is not needed for this already greatly acknowledged timepiece. Nonetheless, I confirm its greatness. It feels like a bracelet and provides the accurate timekeeping one would want while looking like a reasonable watch.
I was on my phone while my son was talking to me. He asked me what were the towers in the distance while pointing at the cellular network tower on top of a hill. I told him what it is and it looked at it with an intense look. In my mind I pictured him sabotaging towers and how this could be a new kind of terrorism stemming from a generation raised by phone-addicted parents. There’s probably already a book exploring this…
Farmers market apples are so dramatically superior to fancy organic store ones. I forget every time until I swallow the 2x or 3x price at the farmer's market. Hard to argue that it’s not at least twice tastier.
The beard is growing. I’m looking more and more like my heroes, Beau Miles, Robert Sapolski, Ram Dass, Rick Rubin. For the non-beard connoisseur, I probably look more like a homeless or someone who knows about gardening (or kombucha).
When undistracted I often do exactly the same as my 2-year-old. I reflexively describe what’s in sight.
« For anything, the potential for a shared standard of care depends on an equally agreed upon standard of function, which is highly unlikely. Some people are very okay chugging ice cream and only walking their dogs, that, doesn’t require much care. Exercising like an athlete for the same is equally dumb if not more. Beyond healthcare, look at people’s cars. » - heard from a buff old guy wearing a dirty Hawaiian shirt in the chocolate section at Trader Joe’s.
Listening to my kid babbling and having fun making sounds, learning to talk. That puts in perspective letters, words, and all the concepts I internalized. It takes a real effort for me to let him be a kid. After 4 months of parental leave, I hope to be able to be normal again, quickly. At the moment, I have random bouts of toddler dah-kah-dee-doo throughout the day.
I have been neither in the real world, nor online. I interacted only with my family and a few random locals for 5 months. There have been ups and downs but nothing like what the rest of the world seemed to have experienced.
I hear that it isn’t a democracy-promoting behavior. At this point being a decent dad is my best contribution to this great big blue rock.
Going to the pool when everyone wears puffy jacket + beanie is better than being the biggest dude in the gym.
Webflow did to web design what gyms did to fitness.
There is a whole category of services. Things that you can do yourself right here right now, but cant afford to pay for. You know you’re not « putting your money to work », you’re just lazy. If that service involves a person telling your something you already know (like a doctor, therapist, plumber…) it is the sign of something worse: deny. How many people out there go to therapy to treat their procrastination while using instacart? Should one have empathy for these poor souls? Is this unhealthy shaming?
My son knows every house around and has his little habits. One of his favorites is on with a few wind chimes. These are particularly low which allows him to make them sing with his hands. The owner, a lovely old lady, surprised him today. I’m used to the polite dance that goes: sorry to intrude on your property, but I know it’s very probably okay because it’s just my supervised and cute kid roaming around. She was very friendly and like all neighbors, welcomed us to come back anytime. She sent us off by noting that 2 of the wind chimes are commemorative pieces for her husband and son who passed away last year. This short interaction moved me. I was in a bad mood.
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