Note dump :: Nov 2024
There are many Californian archetypes but the most basic one boils down to the ones who take off their shoes at the beach and the other.
Kiddo finds a banal-looking rock. I ask why he wants to bring it to me. He replies: “to smash papa glasses”
On the day of the election result, during a walk I overheard a dude on the phone: "sheit, America is that dude that wants to bang his ex and actually does it".
Rain is coming, so we ordered umbrellas. They are shipping from... Las Vegas
Everyone in the house has wack theories about the infant's needs and behaviors. It’s uncanny how those theories reflect the past and cultural traits of each person. Grandpa grew up underfed in China and sees hunger in every cry. Grandma and her social anxiety inherited from a strong family-oriented culture sees a defect that needs to be identified. I often would want to let him cry a bit, because I had 2 siblings and didn’t constantly have someone behind me and I grew up in a secular, exploded French family. My wife is in her early power-mom chapter fueled by a highly competitive education. She sees protocols to be executed with optimal outcomes.
Everyone has wack-theories and operates according to them all the time. The revelations are anchoring due to the shared very limited and shared context of our house where we've all been stewing for a month. This is a scary observation to apply to society at large. It is equally amazing to realize that most things are running smoothly.
A clean chain and a rusty chassis will get you further than the opposite. Something has to be neglected at some point in life.
Grumpy dad milestones: I rejected a new pair of slippers my wife (unprompted) bought me because I love the current very worn out ones. I also now believe that "a t-shirt is a t-shirt", I'll burn through it in less than a year. Baby spit, toddler marker, over-wash, sweat stains... the ugly graphics don't matter anymore.
For a few days I pondered if my emotional fuel tank (proxy for optimism) could be measured by my beard length. The shorter the better. Pessimism translates to hair buildup whereas optimism is a process of regular refreshing. A stubble would be a great victory but I probably average 5mm. I forced myself to shave for a week all that to get cold sore. The message is clear (if my wack theory is right). A couple of photos showing my butt chin and neck folds added to my sense of being a beard guy, convincing me once again to let it grow.
My site runs mostly on PHP as a statement. Client-side libraries symbolize Tech with an uppercase T, specifically its ethos. Jquery is still my bestie but that’s because I’m nostalgic and lazy. I preach moderation once again, and once again moderation will mean something different to everyone. Doing more with less is not the trend. It’s my vibe and from visitors feedback that seems appreciated.
I'm losing my French but numbers still come out in French, especially for more than 2 digits.
We have a fancy vacuum cleaner with a laser (Dyson V15). I initially opposed it because I thought it was an unnecessary gadget. Now, I use it more than my phone on a weekly adjusted average. I love cleaning, but only certain things – Things that seem worth it (to me). What you are willing to clean tells about what you care about. Things that you simply need to have around show their age because faster even if maintained. Care shows. Life is so much cleaning.
I carry my infant son in a front carrier often while eating. I also like soft-boiled eggs. What had to happen, happened. I bit in a goopy egg and a bunch of yolk spilled right on his immaculate skull.
I’m not a sophisticated user Google user. To me, the AI overview is just slightly better than pre-AI SERP to even be noticeable. I don’t think the cost of all the AI gadgetry is worth it - definitely not for my needs.
In front of our house, there are a few shrubs. I’ve been trying to teach my son to water them. Today he took the full watering can and looked at the shrubs for a solid 20sec and dumped the entire can on the mulch in the middle, carefully avoiding all plants. He then said: “growing something new”. A true California kid.
From what I read online and the general IRL vibe I get, California is supposed to have fallen from grace. I’ve read harsh but agreeable opinions, although I still think it has an edge. What happens in California still ends up spreading to the rest of the country. By now all the negative stuff (especially environmental) is about equally bad in other states.
Although I’ve been reading more, it’s the drastic reduction in conversation (due to kids) with my wife that is reducing my vocabulary and critical thinking.
It rained, and I shaved on the same day. I felt resurrected. But then the sun came back in full force. The rain boots we bought the day of the rain teased us hard. I heard Brassens in my head, singing “Des pays imbécil's où jamais il ne pleut”
Kid meltdown aside, the most frustrating part of being a parent so far is the loss of the large block of dedicated time dedicated to side projects. This fairly obvious factoid is still revealing how useless most of the stuff that clutters my mind is. This realization materializes in the sudden desire to kill my website regularly. I had a few days without any computer time, it felt scary, like going away from a needy child - ironically as I actually spent time with my kids. I don’t do much on my phone aside from notes, which is a blessing in that regard. I’m not addicted to the phone, it’s the computer and its greater creative capabilities that get me hooked.
“French people are buttholes. Most ones I met are snobs looking down on farmers, interested only in wine” Jim said. He introduced himself earlier as my kid was climbing on a tractor that turned out to be his.
Double strollers are teasing us. Every owner around us has something bad to say against theirs. There are roughly 3 kinds: stacked, side-by-side, or wagon-style. The stacked is hard to maneuver and doesn’t age well. Older kids tend to use it as a play structure and don’t stay in as the upper seat is a bit of a dungeon. The side-by-side only fits in very large trunks while not supporting bassinet for very small kids. Wagons seem fun for the kids but are very bulky with odd ergonomics due to the pulling/pushing system.
For 2 bumps of similar intensity (and responsibility), based on resulting scratches, I’m significantly more affected by the one I witnessed. This observation can be stretched to apply to media making us witness all the worst in this world.
I’m getting to this point where my kid doesn’t like the idea of walking for no reason, especially out in nature but he’ll be super into any store. Basically the opposite of my preference. It’s normal at his age but still disturbing to see him walk away from his candid interest in anything outdoors to step into the overstimulating world of consumerism.
With time passing I find myself agreeing with the vibe theory. I don’t feel good around certain people even if I try as hard as I can to be empathetic, understanding or simply ignore them. Them and I are not vibing. There’s something physical, I feel uneasy. I used to think that the feeling was due to my lack of tolerance and insecurity - nah. On the other hand, some seem to uplift me and create a positive vibe.
I’m abusing the term chill verbally. I used to veto it for folks who looked uptight or potentially not receptive. I used it multiple times while chatting with an old dude wearing a John Deere T-shirt telling me about corn farming, that’s how liberal I am with it.
Transferring an infant from the warm cocoon that is a carrier is a prime example of the delusion of adults. In what world would we have survived without being physically able to detect our parent's care? Every time I put my son down or pull my phone out as he falls asleep in the carrier, I feel his tiny body tightening.
Kiddo is surviving 50% on dry raisins these days. The bulk bags were a bad idea. The little cardboard boxes are a lot more fun and act as a fixation. Multiple parents I met seem to agree.
During mealtime, I dreamed of tying my toddler to a tree with a fat rope, like in the comic books of my youth. Pacifying with the phone is a lack of imagination.
The wife had a coupon and free grocery delivery after $X. She took a bet on a large box of some random snack. Now we have another box in the pantry. I hate this.
This month I fantasized about buying full-frame sunglasses, going camping, moving to Burlington Vermont, getting a tattoo of a bee
I’m so done with the Apple Watch. The only thing I’m interested in is too unreliable. I spend my time on the bike checking it and frantically move my arms above my heart to get a higher HR reading.
I wonder if the humor in my recent writing and general thoughts that may appear to be optimism is just a shade of masochism.
A typical example of my unhealthy impulse to reduce everything to a simple, almost always oversimplified bullet point: all pain is absolutely always, somehow, self-inflicted.
Kid at the park asks her dad what he is thinking about as he is pacing around. The answer comes immediately with a smile: economics
I say such wack thing to my kid trying to keep up with his blabbering. I sometimes make it a meditative exercise to not engage. He doesn’t even get mad, I don’t last very long.
A dude was explaining a fix he got done on his Porsche to his wife, that clearly didn’t care much but tried to actively listen for 3 of the 10min it lasted. At first, I was just hating on the gearhead mansplaining but I felt a bit of an hypocrite as I probably sound the same about bikes and my current is kinda fancy.
On Sunday, November 17th, I used a screen for the first time to babysit my kid in the car while I went on the bike trainer next to him. Aviation footage got me 15min on the bike.
95% of the words I hear are utterly senseless to me, the receiver. It’s even rarely interesting gossip or logistics (which I’m not fond of in the first place). Mere haphazard recollections of something heard or seen the host can’t refrain from sharing. That makes me feel disrespected, resulting in a polite stonewalling: me nodding and repeating “Oh, cool”.
Just so I don’t sound like it’s only other people, neighbors always surprise me and never get much out of my face.
The 2:25 pm flight from SBP to Seattle, wakes up my kid from his nap. Would he sleep longer if the plane didn't wake him up? Perhaps. Or maybe he would only wake up 5min later naturally. It doesn't matter? It makes me hate that specific plane, the people in it, air traffic, Seattle… I should be better than this hateful knee-jerk reaction. This is a salient example of the silly mind games I play every day.
I rarely drive our car so I need to readjust the seat, and mirrors every time. I always forget one and do the adjustment while on the road. I get rightfully scolded every time. I don’t expect to ever do everything right. On top of that, my phone isn’t set up on CarPlay, so I end up searching for some Latino channel on the FM radio. The accordion is worth the struggle.
I thought it was impatience, but pouring cold water into hot tea to be able to drink it properly now is a sign of respect for tea and my responsibilities as I may only get a few minutes to enjoy it.
Few things are universally loved. Some come close. Infants and beaches seem to be good examples of these. I'm not fond of either - so either my contrarianism is THAT strong, or I'm THAT weird.
← Index Published on 2024-11-30