Reverse crème brûlée

I made it to the doctor's place just in time. I rode my road bike because I take any opportunity to ride these days. I got there sweaty. I looked silly with my cleats on the carpet.

For once I got checked in in 2 minutes. An assistant called me instantly, I was still sweating, awkwardly stuffing my key, wallet, phone in my helmet. I jumped off a call 2 min before getting on the bike, my brain didn’t do the transition. I struggled with the small talk while on the scale. I was so dumb I asked the guy “is that an Apple Watch Ultra?” - I know what this was, what was I expecting. I saw my question landing on his face as it should have: “wow what a baller you are, or what a terrible way to spend your money”… but the man was of course more polite and functional than me and replied very respectfully: “yeah, I like it, and it fits better than the regular”.

Mr Ultra finished my intake in a few minutes. I was soon asked what brought me here. A few days ago my kiddo scratched one of the moles on my back. The little savage tore it badly enough for my wife to suggest getting it checked. I’m a tough guy who would not do such a thing on my own initiative. The doctor smiled and assured me that they looked fairly harmless and could be left alone, or burned if they were bothering me. This is a classic dilemma. How would I be able to turn down such an offer. Burn it! Burn them all. So she proceeded and explained the cryotherapy process while showing off her nitrous oxide torch. I proudly acknowledged her explanation with a keen remark: « yeah, it’s like a reverse crème brûlée, right? ». The kernel of sense (just enough to not get a straight WTF) in my comedic attempts granted an awkward smile back followed by an embarrassed : « yeah, kinda, it’s the first time I hear it put it this way ».

The pain was mild, like bad sunburn in the shower. A 8/10 pain in family medicine, that we both agreed was equivalent to a 4/10 in the emergency room. Tough guy agreeing with the doctor smoothens the end of this interaction. In 3 min my shirt was back on and I was back out on the bike. On the way back I took a 30min detour through the pastures. I spent half the trip back worrying about how I was selfishly and unnecessarily stretching my very pregnant wife’s goodwill as she was keeping the little monster at home while I enjoyed (well, semi-enjoying) time on the saddle. The rest of the day blurred into our regular family routine.

← Index / Published on 2024-08-17